


Man Crush

by totalizzyness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Gen, Humour, Male Bonding, frank discussions about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 07:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totalizzyness/pseuds/totalizzyness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sam wishes he was an only child and Dean doesn't understand what "TMI" means.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man Crush

Sam wasn’t sure how they’d found themselves on this topic of conversation, or why it was a topic of conversation in the first place, but he was horrified by the words leaving his brother’s mouth.

“I’m just saying, Sammy, every guy has that one dude they just would.”

Sam grimaced. “Oh really?”

“For example… Robert Downey Jr? Easily on the top of my man-crush list.”

“Robert Downey Jr as in… Iron Man?”

“Yeah. I mean, he’s so… ugh, I don’t know. But I’d suck his dick if he asked.”

Sam blanched, nearly letting his sip of beer spill from his mouth. “What?!”

“Not like… in a gay way. But I would.”

“What?! How do you suck another dude’s dick in a not-gay way?!”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know… But it’s possible.”

Sam watched his brother fidget for a few moments, a stunned look on his face.

“It’s like… it’s just not considered gay.”

“Dean. You would have another man’s penis in your mouth. That’s gay!”

“No, gay is letting them stick it in your ass!”

Sam’s eyes widened even more. “What?! …So blow jobs are in a vague not-quite-gay zone?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Dean shrugged, lifting his bottle to his lips. Sam scrunched his eyes shut, a shiver running through his body; he didn’t need to see his brother putting a phalic-shaped object to his mouth after talking about voluntarily giving head. “Come on, Sam. There’s got to be that one guy for you.”

“No, actually. I can’t say I’ve ever thought about another man that way.”

“Liar. Come on, George Clooney?”

“Ew.”

“Jude Law?”

“No.”

“But he’s got a British accent!”

“And a dick! Sorry Dean, but that’s a big turn off for me.”

Dean huffed out a loud sigh, taking another swig of his beer. Sam frowned at his hands, regretting all the times he’d asked Dean to share what was on his mind.

“Wait… When you say top of your man-crush list, there’s more than one?”

Dean smirked sheepishly. “Well…”

“Who else?!’

“Um… Captain Kirk.”

“Wow really?! Have you seen William Shatner?!”

“Jeez, not Shatner! Chris Pine! The new Kirk. He’s pretty hot.”

“Gross.”

“Han Solo.”

“Seriously?!”

“Yep… Brian Cox.”

“…The ‘Wonders of the Universe’ guy?”

“Yeah. There’s something about the way he looks and his smarts… He’s so innocent looking, and I just want to ruin-“

Sam leapt to his feet, not caring he’d spilt beer down his jeans. “No! I am done! Please don’t ever talk to me again, Dean. There’s sharing, and then there’s this! Unless this is your scarring way of coming out to me, then I am out of here.”

“I’m not gay!” Dean shouted at his brother’s retreating back.

“Not listening!”


End file.
